Stress Management: 4 Steps to Eliminating Resistance from Your Life
Let’s talk about stress ba-by
Let’s talk about you-and-me
Let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things that may be.
Let’s talk about stress
Remember that song?….I hope so, otherwise I’ve probably already lost you.
Anyway, we need to talk about stress; specifically the negative form of stress known as distress.
Take a moment to reflect on the past 24 hours of your life. What stressors did you encounter?
Surely there was something that happened within the past day that didn’t go the way you wanted: your computer locked up, you were running late, a traffic jam, an argument with someone, an illness, your dog’s wireless fence stopped working and she chased you down the road causing you to turn around, catch her, and put her in her kennel (not that that’s ever happened to meJ).
If you had a “normal” day, chances are good that you encountered multiple stressors; but for the purpose of this article, let’s choose one and take a moment to reflect on it.
Question: How did you respond to this event in your life?
Think about the feelings that arose in you while the event was happening. Make a mental list the emotions you were having. How did you respond?
There are really only two answers: with acceptance or with resistance.
It’s already obvious that you (and I) responded with resistance. Otherwise, it would not have been stressful…..right?
Question: How did choosing to respond with resistance change the outcome?
Did getting frustrated in the traffic jam miraculously cause traffic to start moving? Did yelling at your computer correct the problem? Did becoming angry while reflecting on an argument with someone help anything at all? Did becoming impatient with my dog situation make the invisible fence begin to work?
Isn’t it ridiculous to think that responding with resistance will miraculously make the problem go away?
Question: Could you have chosen to respond differently?
Do you believe that you could have chosen a different response? I’m here to tell you that you could have. It IS possible to choose your response to literally any situation. Free will is one of several unique human endowments given to us by God that separate us from the lower animals who can only respond based on instinct alone. Our animal instinct would have us respond to a traffic jam with frustration, anger, and rage, but it does not have to be so. We can choose differently, we can choose acceptance.
Question: How much of our stress is self-imposed?
If you buy in to the fact that we can choose our response, and if responding to a situation with resistance is the definition of stress, then doesn’t that make all of the stress that we experience self-imposed. Stress is a choice. Inner peace, the opposite of stress, is also a choice. Which will you choose this day?
Here are 4 Steps to Choosing Acceptance over Resistance in Our Lives
Step 1: Understand that you Have a Choice
You and God are the co-creators of your life. He has given you the power to choose your response to literally any situation. Knowing this on a spiritual and emotional level is the first step to taking full responsibility for your life and becoming truly empowered to create your own destiny.
Step 2: Be the Observer of Your Feelings
Once you understand that you are in the driver’s seat of your life, start paying attention to your emotions and how they affect the decisions you make. Come to a knowledge that you are separate from your feelings and it is you, not they, which dictate your response to any stimulus. Observe them, get to know them, and ultimately become master over them. In doing so you will become even more empowered to choose acceptance over resistance.
Step 3: Choose Acceptance over Resistance
Know you understand that you have the power to choose, you understand the forces inside you that affect that choice, now it’s time to simply make the choice of no resistance. Imagine how serene it would feel to run late for an important meeting, to be stuck in traffic, to have your computer crash, and to still choose inner peace over inner turmoil. It’s as simple as making a choice, a choice to drop resistance like a sack of bricks. It’s possible…but you already know that.
Step 4: Reflect and Learn from Every Experience
As you practice this in your life, reflect on your “successes” and your “failures”. I put these terms in quotes because to learn from an experience actually transforms the failure into success. It is critical to always be the observer. Watch from outside yourself, as you make decisions record mental notes so as to be in a state of constant learning and development. Doing this will elevate your consciousness and further empower you to choose no resistance in the future.
It's just as useless to resist the waves of our lives as it is the waves of the Sea.
It's just as useless to resist the waves of our lives as it is the waves of the Sea.
Acceptance vs. Inaction
One closing thought. A common misconception is that choosing acceptance to a situation is synonymous with a mental condition of powerlessness. This is not true. As you sit in the traffic jam, you accept that reality at that moment with no resistance. However, as you sit in tranquility you ponder what other route you could take (how you could change the situation) and you take every possible action to keep it from happening again. In other words, you focus your positive energy on the things you can positively affect, but you do not waste time or energy focusing on the things you cannot change.
What is the most common stressor you encounter? How would it affect your life if the stress from this one source were instantly removed?
