Why it’s OK to Pick my Own Nose: A Lesson in Double Standards
A picture of me picking my nose.
I can guarantee that every single person reading this post has experienced both of the following scenarios (if not, be sure and tell me…but I still won’t believe you):
1. You’re driving down the interstate and notice a car traveling beside you. You glance over to discover the driver fully engaged in picking his or her nose!
2. You’re driving down the interstate and notice a car traveling beside you. You glance over to discover the person driving the neighboring car staring at you….you’ve just been busted picking your own nose!
Question: Why is it repulsive when other people pick their noses, but not when we pick our own? This post isn’t really about the virtues of nose picking as much as it’s about the double standards we impose upon others…..and how we tend to rationalize them.
Whether we’re cutting someone off in a conversation, cutting someone off in traffic, or cutting off a pair of jeans to wear to the water park, we allow ourselves to do things we would condemn others for without hesitation. We all suffer from this form of psychosis: But from whence does it come?
The Nose Picking Syndrome
Let’s turn to our experiences on the interstate for some answers. When you discovered the “recreational activities” of the neighboring driver what was your knee-jerk response? If you’re anything like me, you were probably a bit repulsed…..right?
Now think about your rationalizations for picking you own nose (I thought this would become less weird as the post went on…but apparently I was wrong!) No longer so repulsive is it? You felt somewhat justified because it was somehow different for you….am I wrong?
The Ego and the Heart of the Double Standard
The reason we feel inclined to grant ourselves these special “rights and privileges” while denying them to others originates from our ego. That part of ourselves that convinces us that we are separate from others; that they are in competition with us; that whatever they obtain or achieve somehow takes away something from us. It’s paradigm is actually manifested by the use of the word “they” as that implies separation…..instead of the use of the words “we” or “us”.
Let’s look at another example. Say I’m having a conversation with someone, as this sort of thing happens to me on a regular basis. The other person is speaking, and a really “applicable and poignant” thought comes into my mind just as they begin to share the essence of their point. I know how utterly rude it would be to interrupt them, notwithstanding, I want so badly in that moment to just blurt out my point.
The entire time there’s a voice inside my head saying, “it’s ok to cut him off because you might forget this one, plus he’s about to go off on another tangent. Do it now, it perfectly fine….this time is different!”
Diminishing the Role of the Ego
We all know that this conversation is not any different from any other, and my “important” thought was no more important than any other. But how can we remember this in the moment we are tempted to rationalize and apply the double standard? It begins with empathy for the other person; the ability to literally feel what they are feeling. This grows into spurts of real love for them, then eventually into unconditional love, and finally into a feeling of one-ness with them. You know you have achieved this when you look over at them in the next car picking their nose, and instead of getting grossed out say “boy I hope they find what they’re looking for!”
Any thoughts, comments, questions about personal hygiene?
