Christmas Caroling to Closed Doors, Serving Others, and The One that Opened!
Our church group went Christmas caroling in an apartment complex for retired people last night. As we approached the first set of doors to begin singing, I could visualize joyful old folks opening their doors in delight, then beaming with the Christmas spirit as they stood and listened to us sing.
We began with “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” and by the time we concluded no doors had opened. “They’re old, I thought….it takes them a while to get to the door”. Then we sang Jingle Bells…..nothing. Silent Night….nada.
So, I thought, this particular section of the apartment isn’t exactly bubbling with Christmas Spirit. We’ll move on to the next. To my great surprise, after singing to at least a dozen apartments, not a single door had opened…..not a single smiling face.
As we came to one of the last sections of the complex, we gathered together once again and began to sing. After only a brief moment we saw a doorknob turn, a door open, and a smiling face appear. She stood in the doorway, utterly delighted, and beamed with light as we sang.
This is such a great metaphor for life. As we attempt to help others, we’re going to encounter closed doors. But we must sally forth, because in due time doors will open and smiling faces will appear.
There are two things we’ll never know: when doors will open, and what’s going on behind the ones that remain closed. We may not have even seen the person who was most touched last night. For that reason, we can't base our efforts to help people on results. We need only follow our hearts and not get discouraged. If we do that, people will be blessed.
Chime in, what do you think? Have you ever had an experience where persistence has payed off for you?
Unconditional Love, Christmas Parades, and my boy’s ‘Pant’s on the Ground’!
Happiness Comes through holding on to those we love.
Have you ever been in a public place and had one of your children embarrass the heck out of you?
A couple of years ago we decided to take our family of six to the local Christmas parade. Now, keep in mind this is a small town, where everyone knows everyone. Anyway, the parade begins and our family is parked on the curb watching the bands play, gathering candy, and marveling at the mini cars….everyone’s having a blast. Then I look over, and all I see are my three year old son’s butt cheeks right in front of me. He decided to go potty right in the middle of the street, in front of the entire crowd!
Now as a parent, there are two possible reactions here: to drop everything, leave the child with his pants down, and run and hide your face in shame, or to accept ownership of the naked boy and deal with the situation. I’m not saying who did what, but I chose one and my wife chose the other….we still get a good laugh out of that one!
That’s a very lighthearted story, but it really illustrates how we tend to react in one of two ways to the actions of our loved ones. We either focus on them, or we focus on ourselves. Focus on them, on their wants and needs, is unconditional love. We accept them for what they are and love them regardless of their actions. Focus on ourselves brings selfishness and embarrassment, and is based on conditional love. If you meet my standards, you win my affection. One builds the loved on up, and the other tears them down.
This holiday season, as we spend time with our loved ones, let’s make sure they know we love them for who they are and there’s not anything they could do that would make us love them less….the way our Heavenly Father loves each of us. This is the true essence of Christmas.
Why it’s OK to Pick my Own Nose: A Lesson in Double Standards
A picture of me picking my nose.
I can guarantee that every single person reading this post has experienced both of the following scenarios (if not, be sure and tell me…but I still won’t believe you):
1. You’re driving down the interstate and notice a car traveling beside you. You glance over to discover the driver fully engaged in picking his or her nose!
2. You’re driving down the interstate and notice a car traveling beside you. You glance over to discover the person driving the neighboring car staring at you….you’ve just been busted picking your own nose!
Question: Why is it repulsive when other people pick their noses, but not when we pick our own? This post isn’t really about the virtues of nose picking as much as it’s about the double standards we impose upon others…..and how we tend to rationalize them.
Whether we’re cutting someone off in a conversation, cutting someone off in traffic, or cutting off a pair of jeans to wear to the water park, we allow ourselves to do things we would condemn others for without hesitation. We all suffer from this form of psychosis: But from whence does it come?
The Nose Picking Syndrome
Let’s turn to our experiences on the interstate for some answers. When you discovered the “recreational activities” of the neighboring driver what was your knee-jerk response? If you’re anything like me, you were probably a bit repulsed…..right?
Now think about your rationalizations for picking you own nose (I thought this would become less weird as the post went on…but apparently I was wrong!) No longer so repulsive is it? You felt somewhat justified because it was somehow different for you….am I wrong?
The Ego and the Heart of the Double Standard
The reason we feel inclined to grant ourselves these special “rights and privileges” while denying them to others originates from our ego. That part of ourselves that convinces us that we are separate from others; that they are in competition with us; that whatever they obtain or achieve somehow takes away something from us. It’s paradigm is actually manifested by the use of the word “they” as that implies separation…..instead of the use of the words “we” or “us”.
Let’s look at another example. Say I’m having a conversation with someone, as this sort of thing happens to me on a regular basis. The other person is speaking, and a really “applicable and poignant” thought comes into my mind just as they begin to share the essence of their point. I know how utterly rude it would be to interrupt them, notwithstanding, I want so badly in that moment to just blurt out my point.
The entire time there’s a voice inside my head saying, “it’s ok to cut him off because you might forget this one, plus he’s about to go off on another tangent. Do it now, it perfectly fine….this time is different!”
Diminishing the Role of the Ego
We all know that this conversation is not any different from any other, and my “important” thought was no more important than any other. But how can we remember this in the moment we are tempted to rationalize and apply the double standard? It begins with empathy for the other person; the ability to literally feel what they are feeling. This grows into spurts of real love for them, then eventually into unconditional love, and finally into a feeling of one-ness with them. You know you have achieved this when you look over at them in the next car picking their nose, and instead of getting grossed out say “boy I hope they find what they’re looking for!”
Any thoughts, comments, questions about personal hygiene?
Scraping our Problems off the Windshield of Life
We had our first hard frost in Virginia the other morning. I discovered this shortly after starting my truck and realizing that I was without a windshield scraper.
It was before dawn and very brisk….I had a decision to make: Do I sit lazily and wait for the defrost to melt the ice away, or try to improvise and use a credit card or other make-shift object? I chose lazy, and waited…..but only until there was a round 8” clearing in the frost at the very bottom of the windshield.
Driving Blind!
So here I am driving down the road, hunched over, peering through this tiny hole!....couldn’t see much to say the least (don’t say anything, you know you’ve done it too.) Luckily, by the time I reached the highway, the windshield was mostly clear and I could see enough to drive safely.
After traveling a few miles down the road, the heat had really kicked in and every spec of frost was melted away. Plus, it was getting nice and toasty inside the truck. Life was good……until I broke over a hill and found myself driving directly toward the newly risen sun.
The glare was unbearable, not so much because of the brightness of the sun, but because the inside of the windshield was covered in a dirty/smoky film that distorted the sunlight, causing it to scatter, and basically rendering me unable to see. I immediately had to pull off the road and clean the film off the inside of the windshield. I pulled back onto the road. Finally, I could see clearly and drive toward the sun!
"Problems" Inside and Out
Our lives aren’t all that different from windshields. There are forces from without and within that obscure our vision, and keep us from finding our way toward God. It takes great effort on our part to keep our windshields clean.
The stuff on the outside; frost, mud, or whatever, is our life situation. These are the components of our lives that are observable to the outside world. They exist in the space that surrounds us. These outside forces such as problems at work, relationships, money, etc, inhibit our ability to see our path….if we allow them. The key is to either change or accept these parts of our life situation that we consider “problems”. Either alternative increases vision, one acts as defrost and melts the problem away, and the other acts as Rain-X and allows the problem to just roll off of us, but both are proactive measures. Acceptance is not the same as doing nothing about our problems, which like choosing to drive down the road blindly with perfectly good windshield wipers.....we have to do something!
The stuff on the inside of our windshields is what Christ spoke of when he taught about keeping the inside of our cups clean. What’s funny is that the film that had developed over time didn’t become evident until the light from the sun glared on it. God reveals to us what we need to change in our lives by shining the light of His spirit on it. Over time, we begin to see how this “film” obscures our vision of the pathway toward the Son. Sometimes we even have to “pull off the road” and allow Him to make us clean once again.
How else do windshields apply to life?.....didn't even get into cracks or bugs.
How Web Marketing Saved my Christian Business
Almost 10 years ago, when my partners and I started our pool company, we had zero marketing training or experience. We knew we needed to sell pools to stay in business, so we did what other “successful” companies were doing and spent money like crazy on radio, yellow pages, print, direct mail, and even some television advertising. We found that this “shotgun” approach to marketing worked fairly well at first, but we began to see a major shift in the way people shopped for pools.
Consumers began to ignore these “interruptive” methods of advertising and began to look for goods and services on their own “terms”….through the internet. We recognized that our website needed to be the focus of our marketing effort, but none of us were “techies” to say the least, so we hired a web designer to build the site.
It was a good website, and before long it was producing more leads than all of the other venues combined! This led to radical decision (at the time) to eliminate all other forms of advertising and fully embrace our web marketing effort….and this was a huge success. We were spending less marketing dollars and getting even more leads…..but there was a problem.
We Created a Monster!
We now lived and died by our website. In fact, our website had become the single most important component of our business…..and we had absolutely no control over it! We couldn’t add content, build a page, upload a photo, or even fix a typo! Our web designer was an awesome guy, but we were dependant on him for everything. We realized that we didn’t hold the keys to our own business!
Something had to change for us…..that was undeniable. It was imperative that we manage our own site, but how could a bunch of “non-techies” take on such a task? We began to look for an alternative, and to our great delight, we found it existed. We embraced it, and it literally changed our business and our lives.
Sharing the Blessings
Because what we discovered has helped us so much, I want other small business owners to have the opportunity to experience the same blessings. To the best of my knowledge, we currently have the most popular swimming pool website in the world. I can honestly say that if it were not for our web success, we’d have met the same fate as 2/3 of the companies in the swimming pool industry, and would no longer be in business.
Below are the web marketing principles and tools that we have learned and applied; that have been placed in our path, and now are placed in yours. If you stand in need of more traffic, leads, and sales, I pray that they will help you and all of the individuals and families associated with your small business.
Inbound vs Outbound Marketing
What is Inbound and Outbound Marketing?
Outbound, or interruptive, marketing is the shotgun approach that I described earlier. It’s a method of broadcasting your message out to the world in hopes that those that are interested will:
1. Hear the message
2. Remember the message, and
3. Respond to the message
Again, some of these outbound marketing methods are TV, radio, print, mailers, etc.
If outbound marketing is like a shotgun that broadcasts your message out to the world, inbound marketing is more like a magnet that draws those who are actively seeking you to your website. This paradigm taps into the consumer that’s already actively engaged in learning about a product or service they want to purchase. Instead of randomly casting a net into the ocean in hopes of catching fish that are trying to escape, the hungry fish now seeks you, because you offer their food of choice.
Look, folks are busy….we all are; and we find ways to avoid interruptive marketing. Why watch a commercial when you have TiVo? Why listen to a radio ad when you can listen to your iPod or satellite radio? Why buy a newspaper when the internet can give you exactly the info you want in less time for free? Why open the yellow pages when you can Google what you’re looking for and be on and off a company’s website before your could have found it in the book?
The success of inbound marketing is a natural consequence of our information age, and as outbound marketing methods continue to go the way of the dinosaur, those businesses who embrace this shift earliest will reap the biggest rewards. But how does Inbound marketing work? How can people on the internet find me? The answer: content marketing.
Content Marketing: A True Win/Win
When you use Google to search for information, you become their customer. Google wants you, their customer, to be happy….and when it comes to web searches, happiness = receiving desired information. Therefore, Google places the web pages that best answer the consumer’s questions highest in their SERPs or Search Engine Result Page. So, for your company to be recognized by Google (and other Search Engines), you need to produce content on your site that answers the questions of the consumer. This content can come in many forms: website pages, blog articles, videos, ebooks, reports, etc. (We produce most of our content through writing blog articles and videos.)
How do I know what content to produce?
Simple!....what questions do your customers ask about your product or service on a regualar basis? These are the same questions people ask Google. Content marketing is about looking at the world from the perspective of the consumer, and producing content that speaks directly to them and addresses their concerns….and the one who best addresses their concerns also wins their trust!
Content Marketing vs Adwords/Pay-Per-Click Advertising
On Google’s results page there are two columns. Many folks don’t know that the one to the right, the “sponsored links”, are actually advertisements. When they are clicked, the company pays a specified amount based on a predetermined bid for the keyword that was typed in. This is called Pay-Per-Click advertising, and is how we received the bulk of our traffic initially….which was great, but expensive. The other problem with PPC advertising is that 80% of all internet users don’t even look to the right side of the page, so we were missing gobs of potential traffic.
The results on the left side of the page are called “organic” because they are based solely on a web pages ability to answer the question of the user (based on Google’s analysis). These are FREE, and are based on your content marketing efforts around that specific keyword. The key to successful content marketing is to produce content based on as many specific keywords as possible….this is where an understanding of SEO comes into play.
Over the past 3 years we have cut our Pay-Per-Click marketing budget by 2/3rds and increased the traffic to our site 5 fold….all because of our content marketing efforts.
The Modern David and Goliath
The beauty of content marketing is that it levels the playing field. He who produces the best content wins…..every time, because you can’t buy your way into organic search results.
This principle is what allows a small, Christian owned pool company to get more traffic than the huge multi-million dollar giants in our industry.
A Content Management System: The Key to Empowerment
As I alluded to earlier, the key to allowing all of this to happen rested in our ability to manage our own website. What we found was an awesome CMS, or Content Management System, that allowed us “non-techies” to have complete control. This was a quantum leap to empowerment for us. No more calls to the webmaster to add photos, fix a typo, or add content…..it was awesome, and it was as easy to use as a word processor. It’s literally websites for dummies. Finally, complete and total control of our own web destiny! It wasn’t until we began using our own CMS that we realized how utterly handcuffed we previously were. Finally, we could fully embrace our inbound/content marketing strategy, and once we did, it took off like a rocket.
These web marketing principles changed everything for us. Sure, the direct impact on marketing and sales was astounding. But more than anything, it helped us embrace an educational paradigm. We became content creators. We saw the world from a different perspective. We had to stretch ourselves at times, but with any challenge comes growth. Words can't express what this has done for us, and I hope can do the same for you.
I appreciate you being here, and sticking with this rather long article. If you have questions regarding your web marketing, and need somewhere to turn, please feel free to contact me directly via email at riverpoolsjason@gmail.com.....I'm happy to try and help. For a more in depth look at our experience with inbound marketing, feel free to visit my partner's sales and marketing blog www.TheSalesLion.com. It's a huge, free, resource and the perfect place to start this journey for yourself.
Please also feel free to question or comment below. Thanks, God Bless, and Good Luck!
A Moment of Holiday Frustration!
- Are we raising armies of mindless consumers?
I just laid a ground rule in the house (and I never do this): all toy catalogues go directly into the trash. For the past several years my kids have adopted the habit, all on their own, of sitting down with the little Toys-R-Us mailers and circling the toys they want for Christmas.
I’m thinking: “Great, why wait until Christmas to allow them to focus entirely on themselves when the unbridled selfishness can begin 6 months in advance?”
I said that they learned this “on their own”, but that’s a tremendous miscalculation. This is something that’s been taught to them (and us) from the moment they we’re born.
As soon as we’re old enough to stare at the television we’re told an incredulous lie: we need stuff to make us happy.
My daughter turned three in August and she is the most precious snuggle muffin in the world. She’s recently developed the habit of saying “I want that!” every single time a “girl” commercial comes on television. This makes me sick! “I want, I want, I want, I want…..”
How about “I want…..to forget myself and serve others?”….that’s the message that needs to permeate our homes! Let’s hit out kids with that one from all angles.
Let me make one thing clear, my 5 kids are the most gracious, serving, and selfless kids I know, but I see a shift towards selfishness as Christmas draws near; and it’s because I see this change in such awesome kids that it makes me absolutely sick. We do teach about Christ in our home. We do teach the true meaning of Christmas. We do focus on serving others first and putting ourselves last, but my fear is that the volume of the worlds message is greater than ours.
This has forced me to ask : Who controls the remote control in my home?
This has finally reached critical mass for me and it's time to hit the “mute” button. It’s clearly not possible to “serve two masters”.
Anyone else frustrated?
Rating Your Tempations from 1 to 10
Try this one on:
Next time feel inclined to do something you know goes against your values, rate how strong the temptation is….from 1 to 10.
Check out 3 of about a 1,000 examples from my life today:
- Tonight while working out, I felt like quitting….but it wasn’t very strong, probably only a 1 or 2. I pushed through it.
- I worked from home today….had distractions….frustration mounted. Negativity and rationalizations began creeping in. Pretty strong, about a 7……I could have done better with it.
- I wanted a second bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast. It was a solid 10+ (because it’s the best food on earth) and I folded, but enjoyed every morsel.
Win some…..lose some
But seriously, this mental exercise can actually play an important role in helping us make good decisions. No one’s exempt from temptation and whether you think the source is Satan, the ego, or your Lizard brain (Seth Godin reference) the first step is realizing that it doesn’t originate within us.
That’s why as soon as you play this little game you’ve already won half the battle: because it forces you to realize that it’s not you. It’s a force exerted on you from outside, maybe not from outside of our bodies, but certainly outside of our divine nature which is who we really are. This is the single biggest step to overcoming temptation: being the observer. Once you can observe, you have the potential to see the situation from an objective rather than subjective perspective. Once we realize that, “hey, this is that thing again” and take a second to quantify it, we can either dismiss it immediately or come up with a game plan to conquer it.
What helps you overcome temptation?
How do you deal with Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Being a Spiritual Trash Collector
Does the negativity of others have you grouchy?
So I found myself sitting in my truck between appointments, trying to get some work done, and this dude pulls right beside me, opens his car door and throws a big bag of trash right on the stinking ground……and I’m in an empty parking lot!
Talk about getting me fired up! You can ask my wife, I really only have 2 pet peeves: one is discretely popping your gum, and the other is LITTERING. I mean, who did the dude think was going to pick it up.....little trash pixies or something? Anyway, I’ve heard that it’s not good to spend more than a moment or two focusing on the problem, so let’s talk about a solution.
In reality, most of us don’t have the audacity of this guy. We care enough about our surroundings to at least throw our own trash away. And some of us may even take time to clean up the trash left by others….and that’s the lesson in this for me today.
Being a Spiritual Trash Collector
Everywhere we go we witness people dumping their spiritual litter on the world. Strangers being rude to one another…..friends talking about one another behind their backs…..and family members holding grudges for extended periods of time. All caught in a vicious cycle of being offended and being the offender…….each negative act spiritually polluting the world.
The great news is that sometimes it’s just as possible to clean up the spiritual messes of others as it is for me to walk over and pick up that guy’s bag of trash. We certainly cannot remove the consequences of sin from an individual’s life….that’s between them and God. But we can sometimes remove, or at least diminish, the consequences of their actions on the rest of the world. Let’s take time to let our light shine when we witness (or participate) in such things. We can do this by sending our love, giving forgiveness, serving others, and just through understanding that we are interconnected with them and God. These simple acts will eradicate spiritual pollution from our presence.
Time to go pick up some trash.
Man’s Role During Birth: From Scared Spectator to Soul Mate
The climax of a most spritual experience!
When my wife went into labor with our first son Grayson I immediately went into freak-out mode. I remember trying over and over to put my socks on so I could go to the hospital. But for some reason I couldn’t get them on. Then I realized I was trying to put my underwear on my feet! All I knew is that I was supposed to get to the hospital asap and time those contractions. “Are you having one?...Are you having one now?...Is it over yet?” I kept asking. I’m surprised my wife Chrissy didn’t clock me in the head. During labor I was absolutely clueless. I didn’t know what was going on, my wife was in severe discomfort, and I felt completely out of control.
The fact is that I was out of control. I know and accept that now. And I get a good laugh at myself when I compare my role in the birth of our first child to that of our fifth child Daniel who was born only five days ago.
Daniel’s birth couldn’t have been more different. Anxiety was replaced with serenity; confusion with connection; and underwear with socks. But how did I get from point A to B? The fact is that the birth of each of our children Grayson (11), Seth (7), Isaac (4), Lily (2), and now Daniel brought me to a new level of consciousness regarding my role in the birthing process. I clearly played a different role with each of my children. In reflecting on each of these roles, I can see how they can each be compared to various roles associated with a game of football. Hey, even though this article is about birthing, I can still think like a dude!
First and 10 centimeters
First Child Grayson: I was the spectator
I watched the game from the stands; in fact it was like the first football game I had ever seen because I didn’t really understand what was going on. I just sat there and cheered when everyone else did.
Second Child Seth: I Worked On the Chain Crew
You know the guys who stand on the sidelines holding the orange sticks, that was me. I was as close as one could possibly get to game without actually being involved. I was there mentally, emotionally, and spiritually but didn’t really take an active role in the process.
Third Child Isaac: Assistant Coach
I knew the playbook inside and out and was able to make an impact on the outcome of the game, but still wasn’t as connected to the quarterback (my wife) as either of us would have liked.
Fourth Child Lily: 2nd String Offensive Tackle
I was definitely on the field contributing and the outcome was spectacular. Through this birth, Chrissy and I found a connection on another level and it changed our relationship forever. However, we both agreed that although I played an extremely supportive role, she spent the majority of her labor in her own space. Witnessing this alone was miraculous; watching someone transcend the pangs of physical pain with the hope and excitement of bringing a new life into the world.
Fifth Child Daniel: Starting Center
If you’re familiar with football then you know that the center and quarterback have to function as one entity in order to allow a smooth and seamless transition of the ball from one to the other. In the game of football, this is as close as I can get to what Chrissy and I experienced with the birth of Daniel.
Before Daniel was born Chrissy expressed her desire for us to remain connected through the entire birth process. I knew what she wanted, and I knew that the only obstacle to making our goal a reality was me. If I’m being honest, I had always been a little jealous of those guys who were brave enough to blatantly disregard other’s perception of them and become fully engaged with their spouse during the birth of their children. I had not previously done so because I was scared. Scared of what? I’m asking myself that question right now as I write this. Scared that I would look silly; scared that I would make a mistake; scared that I wouldn’t fully connect with my wife if I did try…I think deep down these are all reasons. However, there was no fear 5 days ago. It was magical, it was intimate, and it was absolutely miraculous. We stayed connected through the entire process and we shared the experience as though we were one person. I had no idea such a thing was possible, but now I know that it is.
Here are 3 Things I’ve Learned Since the birth of Our first Child:
1. Be Present
Don’t think about who’s in the room, food, sports, or what you’re doing later. Focus on NOW! You don’t get many of these moments, and the only way to fully experience this is to live it while it happens. Take a moment to observe the room, your wife, your breathing, her breathing, everything that’s happening now. Being present will be a tremendous help to the entire process. When someone we care about deeply loses a loved one, there is nothing we can say or do that can make any difference at all except being present for them. Our love and presence is all we really have to give. Isn’t it interesting that our presence alone can make a huge difference when a life comes into this world as well?
2. Relinquish Control
You’re mate is the all-time quarterback in this game, and God is calling the plays. You cannot control the situation. It takes us guys a while to get used to that. A successful birth requires a setting of no resistance because it’s a natural process. Standing over a flower will not make it blossom, and being in a state of non-acceptance will not make a positive difference in the birth of your child. Full acceptance, however, does invite serenity and can make a profound impact on your spouse and the setting in general…plus it just feels better.
3. Make her Feel Beautiful, Because She is
Motherhood is a divine calling and birthing can bring out the divinity in a woman. You can help her embrace that divinity by supporting her physically, emotionally, and spiritually throughout the process. Messaging, kissing, holding, encouraging, engaging, breathing together, connecting, these are all things a man can do to support his wife on all levels.
I need to take a moment to thank God, my wonderful wife Chrissy, and our amazing midwife Nancy for this wonderful experience we’ve shared together and will never forget. Chrissy and I are changed forever and I’m totally exited to see what the future holds for our family. As people we can change, we can evolve to higher levels of consciousness, and we can use grand events in our lives to help take us to the next level. But regardless of what happens, I think I'll leave the quarterbacking to my wife:)
Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings below. Thanks!
5 Keys to Discovering Our Natural State of Happiness
Here’s a bold statement for you:
Regardless of what you achieve, how much stuff you accumulate, or how well people regard you, you will never obtain happiness in this life.
Sound pessimistic? Quite the contrary…..this may be the most optimistic thing you’ve read in quite a while.
You see, to obtain happiness implies that it is something that exists outside of our self. The reality is that happiness already exists within us and is very much part of our natural state of being. In fact, the only place happiness can be found is inside of ourselves. This happiness can be discovered, uncovered, or exposed, but it cannot be obtained because it’s impossible to obtain that which you already have. To see the world in this way is transformational. Let’s take a closer look….shall we?
Here are 5 Keys to Discovering our Natural State of Happiness
1. You Don’t need a Reason to be Happy
In his book “The Power of Intention” Wayne Dyer makes a wonderful point about babies. He states that despite the fact that they are bald, chubby, and toothless they continue to be in a natural state of happiness. They crawl around, eat everything they get their hands on, poop in their pants, and just laugh and smile. Their only concern is growing, expanding, and being blissful. What can we learn from them?
We do not need a reason to be happy!
Happiness is our natural state. Each of us is born with this great treasure, and when we are new to the world its luster consumes our attention. However, as we become accustomed to living in the world, we cover our treasure with layer upon layer of silt and sediment until it becomes buried beneath the surface of our being. And sadly enough, most of us forget we ever had it. Take a moment to observe a baby. Watch as the radiance of their treasure shines and remember that you were once also in that natural state of being, without the need of any reason to be happy.
2. Nothing You Achieve can ever Make You Happy
The irony of our lives is that it’s just as we pat down the final layer of earth that conceals our treasure that we begin a life of treasure hunting. Many people spend their entire lives seeking that which they already have. Happiness cannot be found in things. We know this intellectually, but take a moment to reflect on just how often, even on a subconscious level, we expect to acquire some degree of happiness from a source outside of ourselves. The same is true of our achievements or the accolades we receive from others. How many times have you thought you’ve finally unearthed your buried treasure only to discover a hollow chest void of any real value?
I often look for a pen or pencil for minutes only to discover that it’s behind my ear. I always get a good chuckle when I realize what I’ve done. I could not see it because wherever I turned my head, it turned with me and remained just out of sight. The same is true with our treasure of happiness. It will always remain out of sight so long as we seek it outside of ourselves. If I had only taken a moment to pause and reflect on the situation I would have felt the pen behind my ear and my insane quest would have ended. Let’s pause and reflect on the inanity of our lives. Are we on a quest destined for disappointment?
3. Your Failures cannot Make Your Unhappy
The great news is that if we cannot find happiness outside of ourselves, then the inverse must also be true: Unhappiness cannot originate from outside of ourselves either.
This one perspective alone is liberating. If we fail financially, if we lose the respect important people, if a project falls apart, if someone we depend on lets us down…..these things do not obligate us to be unhappy. In fact, they are completely powerless to do so. These are only layers of silt. We need to keep our broom handy and constantly sweep these happiness distracters off of our shining treasure.
4. Problems are an Illusion
What is a problem? The common answer is that it is something that goes wrong in our lives. The reality is that a problem is nothing more than a thought. Where do thoughts exist? Who creates thoughts?
They only exist in our brain and we are the one that create them.
So the question is: Why make it into a problem? Does defining it as so help anything?
The problem with problems is that we build identities around them and they influence the way we see the world. We when we create problems we become victims. This means we are no longer responsible for our lives.
So what am I saying? To pretend problems don’t exist? To pretend that everything’s peachy when it’s not?
That’s not what I’m saying at all. When something in our lives doesn’t go the way we want, we have several choices:
1. To take action in order to reach a resolution
2. Accept what has happened
3. Label it as a problem and begin an inner dialogue how much it stinks!
We all do #3 but what good does it do? None, we don’t need it and are much more effective without it!
How is this relevant to happiness? If you are focused on your problems what are you not focused on?
It is impossible to be in a natural state of happiness and be consumed by problems at the same time. However, it is possible to have things go wrong in your life and remain in happiness if you do not label them as problems. They are an illusion.
5. Remember the Source of Our Happiness
We are not the makers of our treasure. We did not place it inside ourselves. God is the source of all happiness. The reason that happiness resides within us is because He resides within us. Babies are so blissful because they remain in close connection with Him. To the degree that we can remove the layers of silt and dirt that lie between us and Him we will discover the happiness that he has already blessed us with in this life.
As we go forth over the following days let’s set a goal to reflect on our natural state of happiness. As we begin to get caught up in the things of the world, let’s remember that they can neither add nor detract from our true selves. As things happen that are contrary to our will, let’s deal with them in the best possible way without making them into problems. If we do this we will be in closer to God and it will have a direct influence on our happiness and the happiness of others.
Thanks for your time. Thoughts and Comments welcome as always.
