Meeting Critical Deadlines while at Total Inner Peace
How do you function spritually when 'under the gun'?
When Adam was cast out of the Garden of Eden he was told “by the sweat of thy face shalt thou make thy bread all the days of thy life.”
From that day forward man has had to meet the economic demands of this material world in order to sustain the life of himself and his family. The challenge associated with this isn’t necessarily in providing the essentials of life; it’s in meeting these demands while recognizing that we’re really spiritual beings in the midst of a material world.
We become so identified with hungry children, impatient bosses, and rush-hour traffic that we fail to connect with God, the source of everlasting life who can empower us to meet these demands with joy and total inner peace. This is the secret of finding joy here on earth: to embrace 100% of our duel nature; giving all our energy to both meeting the physical demands of life and remaining in conscious contact with God. To live in such a way that from the moment we wake in the morning until our head hits the pillow at night we work our butts off to accomplish our tasks while all the while remaining in a state of complete joy and bliss. Now wouldn’t that be nice?
Here are 3 Ideas or Remaining in a State of Inner Peace while accomplishing the Tasks of Life
1. Life vs Life Situation
It helps to recognize that there’s a difference between our life and our life situation. Our life is the essence of who we are, the part of us that God created, the part that is unchangeable and unaffected by our surroundings. Our life is priceless, eternal, and divine. Our life situation, however, is in perpetual transition. It is our surroundings and the circumstances we find ourselves in at any given moment. When we confuse our life with our life situation we become identified with our surroundings and believe that they can either add or detract from what God intended us to become.
I’ve used this analogy before, but we are like a deep lake where the entire disturbance occurs on the surface. Peace and serenity are found below the surface in the depths of the water. The lake is not defined by what happens on the surface, and we are not defined by the constant chaos and commotion of our life situation.
2. Play the Game
Once we understand that our life situation cannot add or detract from who we are, we can look at life as somewhat of a game. Imagine playing a video game. While in the game your focus is on winning, otherwise you wouldn’t be playing, but you know that whether you win or lose makes no difference because the game will end and you’ll move on to something else. We can look at this life the same way. When you’re under pressure to accomplish a certain task, give everything you have to accomplishing it, but remember that life is just a game. Sometimes we see it as a sucky game, but a game none-the-less. This empowers you to see the world from an eternal perspective and to dis-identify with your life situation, allowing you to connect with God regardless of the circumstances.
3. Squash your Ego
Our ego is a thought we have about who we are, nothing more. It only lives in our mind, but it is the single greatest deterrent to connecting with God and having inner peace in our daily lives. It tries to convince us that we are separate from others, that we are defined by the stuff we have and what we have accomplished, and that we are separate from God. It is the 3 year old kid inside us that screams “MINE!!!!” It is the part of us that becomes offended. It is the part of us that tries to convince us that we are superior or inferior to others. It is also the part of us that is worried about what others may think.
Becoming identified with our ego will absolutely guarantee inner turmoil regardless of how ‘good or bad’ our life situation may really be. We’ve all met people who seem to have everything but are utterly miserable, as well as people whose situation may really stink but are completely happy…..these are the opposite ends of the ego spectrum. How entrenched we are with ego will determine our level of inner peace while working to accomplish our goals.
The key to shedding layers of ego is to recognize it when it rears its ugly head. Say to yourself “Here’s my ego at work again.” Because the ego is nothing more than a thought, shedding light on it in this way will diminish its presence in your life. Just as shining a light in a dark room eliminates darkness, shedding the light of your consciousness on the ego will cause it to shrink allowing us to be at peace regardless of our circumstances or what tasks may await us.
What practices have you found that help you meet the demands placed upon you in a state of inner peace?
Man’s Role During Birth: From Scared Spectator to Soul Mate
The climax of a most spritual experience!
When my wife went into labor with our first son Grayson I immediately went into freak-out mode. I remember trying over and over to put my socks on so I could go to the hospital. But for some reason I couldn’t get them on. Then I realized I was trying to put my underwear on my feet! All I knew is that I was supposed to get to the hospital asap and time those contractions. “Are you having one?...Are you having one now?...Is it over yet?” I kept asking. I’m surprised my wife Chrissy didn’t clock me in the head. During labor I was absolutely clueless. I didn’t know what was going on, my wife was in severe discomfort, and I felt completely out of control.
The fact is that I was out of control. I know and accept that now. And I get a good laugh at myself when I compare my role in the birth of our first child to that of our fifth child Daniel who was born only five days ago.
Daniel’s birth couldn’t have been more different. Anxiety was replaced with serenity; confusion with connection; and underwear with socks. But how did I get from point A to B? The fact is that the birth of each of our children Grayson (11), Seth (7), Isaac (4), Lily (2), and now Daniel brought me to a new level of consciousness regarding my role in the birthing process. I clearly played a different role with each of my children. In reflecting on each of these roles, I can see how they can each be compared to various roles associated with a game of football. Hey, even though this article is about birthing, I can still think like a dude!
First and 10 centimeters
First Child Grayson: I was the spectator
I watched the game from the stands; in fact it was like the first football game I had ever seen because I didn’t really understand what was going on. I just sat there and cheered when everyone else did.
Second Child Seth: I Worked On the Chain Crew
You know the guys who stand on the sidelines holding the orange sticks, that was me. I was as close as one could possibly get to game without actually being involved. I was there mentally, emotionally, and spiritually but didn’t really take an active role in the process.
Third Child Isaac: Assistant Coach
I knew the playbook inside and out and was able to make an impact on the outcome of the game, but still wasn’t as connected to the quarterback (my wife) as either of us would have liked.
Fourth Child Lily: 2nd String Offensive Tackle
I was definitely on the field contributing and the outcome was spectacular. Through this birth, Chrissy and I found a connection on another level and it changed our relationship forever. However, we both agreed that although I played an extremely supportive role, she spent the majority of her labor in her own space. Witnessing this alone was miraculous; watching someone transcend the pangs of physical pain with the hope and excitement of bringing a new life into the world.
Fifth Child Daniel: Starting Center
If you’re familiar with football then you know that the center and quarterback have to function as one entity in order to allow a smooth and seamless transition of the ball from one to the other. In the game of football, this is as close as I can get to what Chrissy and I experienced with the birth of Daniel.
Before Daniel was born Chrissy expressed her desire for us to remain connected through the entire birth process. I knew what she wanted, and I knew that the only obstacle to making our goal a reality was me. If I’m being honest, I had always been a little jealous of those guys who were brave enough to blatantly disregard other’s perception of them and become fully engaged with their spouse during the birth of their children. I had not previously done so because I was scared. Scared of what? I’m asking myself that question right now as I write this. Scared that I would look silly; scared that I would make a mistake; scared that I wouldn’t fully connect with my wife if I did try…I think deep down these are all reasons. However, there was no fear 5 days ago. It was magical, it was intimate, and it was absolutely miraculous. We stayed connected through the entire process and we shared the experience as though we were one person. I had no idea such a thing was possible, but now I know that it is.
Here are 3 Things I’ve Learned Since the birth of Our first Child:
1. Be Present
Don’t think about who’s in the room, food, sports, or what you’re doing later. Focus on NOW! You don’t get many of these moments, and the only way to fully experience this is to live it while it happens. Take a moment to observe the room, your wife, your breathing, her breathing, everything that’s happening now. Being present will be a tremendous help to the entire process. When someone we care about deeply loses a loved one, there is nothing we can say or do that can make any difference at all except being present for them. Our love and presence is all we really have to give. Isn’t it interesting that our presence alone can make a huge difference when a life comes into this world as well?
2. Relinquish Control
You’re mate is the all-time quarterback in this game, and God is calling the plays. You cannot control the situation. It takes us guys a while to get used to that. A successful birth requires a setting of no resistance because it’s a natural process. Standing over a flower will not make it blossom, and being in a state of non-acceptance will not make a positive difference in the birth of your child. Full acceptance, however, does invite serenity and can make a profound impact on your spouse and the setting in general…plus it just feels better.
3. Make her Feel Beautiful, Because She is
Motherhood is a divine calling and birthing can bring out the divinity in a woman. You can help her embrace that divinity by supporting her physically, emotionally, and spiritually throughout the process. Messaging, kissing, holding, encouraging, engaging, breathing together, connecting, these are all things a man can do to support his wife on all levels.
I need to take a moment to thank God, my wonderful wife Chrissy, and our amazing midwife Nancy for this wonderful experience we’ve shared together and will never forget. Chrissy and I are changed forever and I’m totally exited to see what the future holds for our family. As people we can change, we can evolve to higher levels of consciousness, and we can use grand events in our lives to help take us to the next level. But regardless of what happens, I think I'll leave the quarterbacking to my wife:)
Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings below. Thanks!
5 Keys to Discovering Our Natural State of Happiness
Here’s a bold statement for you:
Regardless of what you achieve, how much stuff you accumulate, or how well people regard you, you will never obtain happiness in this life.
Sound pessimistic? Quite the contrary…..this may be the most optimistic thing you’ve read in quite a while.
You see, to obtain happiness implies that it is something that exists outside of our self. The reality is that happiness already exists within us and is very much part of our natural state of being. In fact, the only place happiness can be found is inside of ourselves. This happiness can be discovered, uncovered, or exposed, but it cannot be obtained because it’s impossible to obtain that which you already have. To see the world in this way is transformational. Let’s take a closer look….shall we?
Here are 5 Keys to Discovering our Natural State of Happiness
1. You Don’t need a Reason to be Happy
In his book “The Power of Intention” Wayne Dyer makes a wonderful point about babies. He states that despite the fact that they are bald, chubby, and toothless they continue to be in a natural state of happiness. They crawl around, eat everything they get their hands on, poop in their pants, and just laugh and smile. Their only concern is growing, expanding, and being blissful. What can we learn from them?
We do not need a reason to be happy!
Happiness is our natural state. Each of us is born with this great treasure, and when we are new to the world its luster consumes our attention. However, as we become accustomed to living in the world, we cover our treasure with layer upon layer of silt and sediment until it becomes buried beneath the surface of our being. And sadly enough, most of us forget we ever had it. Take a moment to observe a baby. Watch as the radiance of their treasure shines and remember that you were once also in that natural state of being, without the need of any reason to be happy.
2. Nothing You Achieve can ever Make You Happy
The irony of our lives is that it’s just as we pat down the final layer of earth that conceals our treasure that we begin a life of treasure hunting. Many people spend their entire lives seeking that which they already have. Happiness cannot be found in things. We know this intellectually, but take a moment to reflect on just how often, even on a subconscious level, we expect to acquire some degree of happiness from a source outside of ourselves. The same is true of our achievements or the accolades we receive from others. How many times have you thought you’ve finally unearthed your buried treasure only to discover a hollow chest void of any real value?
I often look for a pen or pencil for minutes only to discover that it’s behind my ear. I always get a good chuckle when I realize what I’ve done. I could not see it because wherever I turned my head, it turned with me and remained just out of sight. The same is true with our treasure of happiness. It will always remain out of sight so long as we seek it outside of ourselves. If I had only taken a moment to pause and reflect on the situation I would have felt the pen behind my ear and my insane quest would have ended. Let’s pause and reflect on the inanity of our lives. Are we on a quest destined for disappointment?
3. Your Failures cannot Make Your Unhappy
The great news is that if we cannot find happiness outside of ourselves, then the inverse must also be true: Unhappiness cannot originate from outside of ourselves either.
This one perspective alone is liberating. If we fail financially, if we lose the respect important people, if a project falls apart, if someone we depend on lets us down…..these things do not obligate us to be unhappy. In fact, they are completely powerless to do so. These are only layers of silt. We need to keep our broom handy and constantly sweep these happiness distracters off of our shining treasure.
4. Problems are an Illusion
What is a problem? The common answer is that it is something that goes wrong in our lives. The reality is that a problem is nothing more than a thought. Where do thoughts exist? Who creates thoughts?
They only exist in our brain and we are the one that create them.
So the question is: Why make it into a problem? Does defining it as so help anything?
The problem with problems is that we build identities around them and they influence the way we see the world. We when we create problems we become victims. This means we are no longer responsible for our lives.
So what am I saying? To pretend problems don’t exist? To pretend that everything’s peachy when it’s not?
That’s not what I’m saying at all. When something in our lives doesn’t go the way we want, we have several choices:
1. To take action in order to reach a resolution
2. Accept what has happened
3. Label it as a problem and begin an inner dialogue how much it stinks!
We all do #3 but what good does it do? None, we don’t need it and are much more effective without it!
How is this relevant to happiness? If you are focused on your problems what are you not focused on?
It is impossible to be in a natural state of happiness and be consumed by problems at the same time. However, it is possible to have things go wrong in your life and remain in happiness if you do not label them as problems. They are an illusion.
5. Remember the Source of Our Happiness
We are not the makers of our treasure. We did not place it inside ourselves. God is the source of all happiness. The reason that happiness resides within us is because He resides within us. Babies are so blissful because they remain in close connection with Him. To the degree that we can remove the layers of silt and dirt that lie between us and Him we will discover the happiness that he has already blessed us with in this life.
As we go forth over the following days let’s set a goal to reflect on our natural state of happiness. As we begin to get caught up in the things of the world, let’s remember that they can neither add nor detract from our true selves. As things happen that are contrary to our will, let’s deal with them in the best possible way without making them into problems. If we do this we will be in closer to God and it will have a direct influence on our happiness and the happiness of others.
Thanks for your time. Thoughts and Comments welcome as always.
